Best Sound Editing: NOT Transformers again. Ha ha.

Best Sound Mixing: NOT Transformers again. Ha.

Sense a theme?

Best Actress: ALREADY??

Winner: YEAH! Marion Cottilard totally deserved it. Amazing. Brief speech. Perfect.

Colin Farrell. Not a major movie star. Ever heard of shampoo?

I LOVE Once. This song is stunning and I want them to win.

When was the last time that Jack didn’t attend the Oscars? Is he 80 too?

These montages are a waste of time, for the most part.

We all booed when they showed Crash for Best Picture. Ha. This is a Brokeback crowd.

Do Renee Zelweger’s eyes open? Has she been bodybuilding? Is she on the Mitchell List?

Editing: Bourne. The technical categories are being stolen away from No Country and There Will Be Blood.

Okay, if Nicole Kidman is pregnant…we are all very fat. But she is porcelain perfection.

We need to buy North by Northwest on DVD, asap.

There is a lull. I pulled out my Daniel-Day Lewis “milkshake” impersonation, and my friend Brian performed his Ruby Dee in American Gangster act. Good times.

Oh Penelope Cruz. You can afford a dentist.

McDreamy. The best hair in Hollywood. The other girls in the room are loving his glistening eyes.

Third song from Enchanted. I am sleepy. Moving to caffeinated beverages now.

Are we on a cruise ship? Those are some tight pants. This is like American Idol in Disneyland, with costumes. The horror.

John Travolta, who do you think you’re kidding?!

Best Original Song: YES! ONCE! Oh my. I love it, love it, love it.

RUDE! They didn’t let Marketa thank anyone or speak.

Ok, yes they did. So great.

F”ing Cameron Diaz. Not even a movie to promote. Heard of a hairbrush. She looks disheveled at every awards show.

Cinematography: There Will Be Blood. YES!

Oh. Here comes the Heath Ledger stuff, along with the others.

Where was Brad Renfro among the memorials?

Original Score: Atonement. GREAT sound. One word: typewriter.

Nice inclusion of the troops.

Ok, now we need to see Freeheld, the winner of the Best Documentary Short.

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody. YES. Holy cow. She gives me hope.  Awwwww…she is a wreck. FANTASTIC.

Did Helen Mirren just say cahones? Yes, yes she did.

Best Actor: A lock. Daniel-Day Lewis. Best win ever. Go see There Will Be Blood. Right now. Leave your homes and go.

It’s a clean sweep for foreign actors. Marion Cottilard, Day-Lewis, Tilda Swinton, Javier Bardem. VERY impressive.

Best Director: Coen Brothers. Well, good for them. I think that Paul Thomas Anderson should have won, but they did an excellent job as well.

Best Picture: No Country For Old Men. Again, my second choice.

Time to go home and deal with my pending hangover.  Overall, no real surprises. Very happy with most victories.

George Clooney is old Hollywood. And pretty.

Ummm…someone just left me the dirtiest comment I’ve ever received on my blog, about the red carpet blog. But, my nieces read this, so I am choosing not to approve it.  Sorry, Man Spackle!

Let’s start with the red carpet commentary from this party (10 people; 4 gay, 6 straight and 1 baby). Hey, it’s Oscar Sunday and it’s fabulous excuse to get together and be catty.

Why is Miley Cyrus at the Oscars? Hello, this is a day for movie stars. She’s a teeny bopper television star, a Nickelodeon creation.

Here are some quotes from the peanut gallery:

“I don’t understand the show-one-bony-shoulder dress thing.”

“I think I just saw a bone poke out. And I don’t mean from the front.”

“Helen Mirren is a GILF.”

“Woah. Gary Busey looks like Joan Rivers.”

“Her boobs look like two empty wallets.”

“What has Cameron Diaz done lately? Why is she there?”

“Tilda Swinton is Ziggy Stardust.”

“Christmas threw up on Daniel Day-Lewis’ wife.”

“Is Viggo in a Civil War movie or something?”

[Side note: We're drinking every time the cameras show Cameron Diaz or Miley Cyrus...which is far too often.]

We have deemed this the Year of the Bony Shoulder and Red Dress.

And now, on to the show…

Some people just can’t be happy for this film and those involved, primarily because of the script. Many describe the dialogue as unrealistic or phony, but that is the way that young people talk; I have teenage nieces, and they definitely have their own lingo. Besides, everyone enjoys a new catchphrase or two.  I’m 35 years old, and I found the screenplay to be a breath of fresh air among the smoggy, stale others we are subjected to year in and year out.

Did people have a similarly strong reaction to critical indie darling Little Miss Sunshine last year? No, because their screenwriter didn’t have a previous stint as a stripper. Whoopteedoo, boys. Cody wrote Candy Girl, an autobiographical look back at the year she worked in various strip clubs, and then she moved on and wrote the script for Juno. They are not related, but that is all that some seem to focus in on (primarily male commentators and bloggers). Cody is not shying away from that aspect of her life in interviews; it is simply irrelevant to her current project and acclaim.

The anger toward both Cody and Ellen Page comes across as sheer jealousy and immaturity. Page is young, talented and unconventional. She is not tabloid fodder, nor does she aspire to be. Page has done nothing to draw negative or unwanted attention to herself, and has gone about promoting her film like most other stars do. I love that she lives a quiet little life up in Nova Scotia, and I look forward to her future roles and choices. She is smart and refreshing, not unlike Juno herself. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to dislike Ellen Page or cast unwarranted aspersions in her direction, at least until she does something that deserves such criticism.

To be honest, I will no longer peruse a select few entertainment websites that used to be daily reads, because the comments about Cody and Juno have become increasingly sexist and outrageously insulting.

If Juno does win, the vitriol will be far worse than it is now. Inevitable comparisons to Crash over Brokeback will begin, but I will contend that Juno is far more deserving than Crash ever was.

Grrrr.  I’m ready for my customary champagne and red carpet commentary now.