In his last flashback, it was revealed that Jack’s tattoo translates as: he walks among us, but he is not one of us. In that same episode, Ben told Jack that regardless of what he thought of Juliet, she is still “one of us.” Juliet’s flashback episode last night was called…One of Us.  And then Jack told Juliet that because she also wanted off of the island, that she was “one of us.”

Did Juliet actually arrive on the island via sub? Why was she the only one strapped in if the last leg of the trip was supposedly so bumpy? And truly, is it possible to have a bumpy submarine ride? Aren’t they pretty smooth vehicles?

Refresher: Mittelos, Juliet’s new employer, is an anagram for LOST TIME.

And, at the Mittelos airport, there was a sign for Herarat Aviation. HER A RAT. Subtle! Also, Herarat is an anagram for Earhart…as in famous female pilot Amelia Earhart, who disappeared over the Pacific Ocean under mysterious circumstances.

The infamous Jacob was referenced again. He must also be some kind of doctor or scientist, as Ben promised Juliet that he would cure her sister Rachel’s cancer and it appears as if he was successful. Then again, anyone can PhotoShop a newspaper headline and the Others are certainly capable of coercion; perhaps Rachel was forced to appear in that video. That may not be her child either.  

Was Rachel’s cancer controlled by the Others? Did they cause it to return by activating an implant, similar to the one used to cause Claire’s “crisis?” Leave it to the Others to use and manipulate someone’s illness in order to blackmail one of their own to remain on the island.

And I’m no doctor, but when Ben hands Juliet her sister’s chart, the paperwork appears to be for a male patient with heart problems who weighs almost 200 pounds. WTF?

Ben said no one on the island has ever had cancer. If he has information about all of the passengers from Flight 815, he must know that Rose has cancer. Rather, she did before crashing on that island. Does he know that she’s been cured, much like Locke?

Has Juliet ever expressed how she felt about the death of her Other lover, Goodwin? Does she even know that he was killed by Ana Lucia after she found out he wasn’t a passenger? When Ben dispatched Goodwin to the tail section immediately after the crash, Juliet didn’t even register a response. How close could they have been?

Last season, Locke discovered that the Pearl Station had video surveillance of the Swan Hatch, where Desmond was stationed for years before the Losties found him. And we’ve seen that Ben and Juliet have visited the Pearl Station to view that monitor. So wouldn’t Juliet would recognize Desmond from the Swan Hatch, and also know that he wasn’t on the plane? Is she aware of his precognitive powers? Will that throw a wrench in her master plan?

When Juliet went to recover the medical supplies, there was a tree with a symbol carved into it. It seems to be the same symbol that was branded on her lower back after she was put on trial for killing Picket back on other island.

Juliet says that she can “fix” Claire’s medical emergency. Just like Dr. Jack, who is obsessed with fixing everyone and everything.

After showing Juliet video of Rachel and her nephew on screen in the Flame Hatch, Ben told Richard Alpert to get back to the island soon because of new visitors (meaning the Losties who survived the crash). Really and truly, we have no idea where this island is, but it certainly isn’t a quick jaunt from Miami via sub. Had Richard been back to the island more than once, or did he only return recently (with Locke’s dad)? If Mikhail was able to gather information about all of the passengers, Ben would have known about their history and may have instructed Richard to bring Locke’s dad to the island to use as bait to lure Locke in…

Even if Mikhail had gathered specific personal details about the Losties, how did they know that Sawyer shot the wrong man before boarding that flight the very next day? It’s not like the local authorities were after Sawyer for the murder. 

Did Ethan really improvise when the Losties found out he wasn’t really a passenger, or was kidnapping Claire yet another aspect of the Others’ master plan?

Did Claire survive her pregnancy because Aaron was conceived off of the island, or because of the injections that Ethan had given her?

Didn’t Rousseau deliver Alex while on the island? And if Ben was born on the island, then obviously the pregnancy death thing was a fairly recent phenomenon (post-Dharma?). Ben and Alex were born way before Juliet and her miracle fertility drugs arrived…

Why put an implant in Claire if you think she isn’t going to survive her pregnancy? They must have known that she would, and put the implant in her to use at a future date.

Back when the Others had Sawyer captured, they pretended to insert a heart monitor into his chest. But did they actually place an implant similar to Claire’s in him, in order to activate at a later date?

Also, when Kate had that infamous breakfast on the beach with Ben at the beginning of the season and he told her that the next two weeks were going to be very difficult, did they inject her with some kind of fertility drug and then threaten to kill either Jack or Sawyer unless she slept with one of them? Desperate times call for desperate measures when you’re living like the Children of Men…

The very last scene of Juliet tying the rope to secure her shelter should have been accompanied by Austin Powers over-the-top evil laughter. Double crossing…get it?! Oh and look, her knot forms one of Hurley’s letters, an 8.

CRAZY THEORY OF THE WEEK
The Others found out that Sun was pregnant, which was a pleasant surprise to them. Their intel from Mikhail’s research would have indicated that Sun and Jin were not able to have kids, but now Ben knows about the island’s healing powers. So, he sent Juliet to integrate herself among the Losties in order to get closer to Sun and perhaps inject her with the serum or implant.  You might be asking yourselves, how would the Others find out about Sun? Remember that they had video cameras and audio on Jack, Kate and Sawyer the entire time that they were in being held captive.

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I consider myself a fairly tech-savvy individual. So when a Word document disappears into thin air with no chance of recovery, taking with it hours of work and vast conspiracy theories, you can understand why I might scream, sh*tg*dd*mnmotherf*cukingsonofab*tch! If only I had Desmond to warn me of such a thing. Or a flashback that revealed how Dharma and/or the Others played a role in the demise of my data.

Alas, at this late hour I am currently attempting to recreate my weekly list of thoughts and theories about last night’s episode of Lost. I dedicated my entire evening to it, only to have it evaporate without a trace. 

So stay tuned. I will post it either in the middle of the night tonight or tomorrow after work. Thank you for your patience.

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First, the good news. NBC has renewed 30 Rock! They believe (and I happen to agree) that the show will gain momentum, much like The Office did after its first season. Both shows received high marks from critics yet failed to reach large audiences during their intial run. Why NBC seems hesitant to bestow that kind of faith on a fantastic show like Friday Night Lights is baffling, as I am still awaiting their announcement that it is also coming back for another season.

What a cast (big screen stars Erika Christensen, Hope Davis, Jay Hernandez, Bridget Moynahan, and Campbell Scott, among others). What a shame. Six Degrees started off slow but really grew to become a very watchable primetime series. The show, which was executive produced by Lost‘s JJ Abrams, originally aired after Grey’s Anatomy last September. ABC gave up on Six Degrees less than two months into the season, and only recently aired two additional episodes in the graveyard timeslot, Friday night at 9pm. Last week, the show was pulled off of the air completely, it isn’t available to view for free on ABC.com anymore, and there isn’t a trace of evidence that it ever even existed anywhere on the network’s website. Rude.

I am loving Bones this season. And without a doubt, the winner of this year’s Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series goes to Stephen Fry. The show has always had a dry undercurrent of humor permeating the science, and Fry’s recurring role as Booth’s shrink is inspired casting. You can watch uninterruped episodes of the show on the official Bones MySpace page.

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Here are some thoughts and theories about last night’s new episode, “Left Behind.”

JULIET

Jack is just as gullible as Locke. Juliet is totally pulling a Henry Gale. Ben (as Henry) allowed himself to be captured to learn more about the Losties, and now Juliet has manipulated Jack to the point where he’s protecting her and bringing her right where she wants to be – among the Losties on their beach. She knows exactly where the Others went and is just doing her part for their master plan…whatever the hell that might be. Perhaps the Others are testing Juliet’s loyalty since she was punished for killing one of their own (Pickett).

Then again, why on earth would the Others need to gather any more information about the Losties? They certainly seem to know everything about everyone already. And now they have Chatty Cathy Locke, who will tell them anything they want to know about his fellow castaways.

Kate and Jack were quite groggy when they awoke from their tear gas stupor. Juliet was only pretending to be knocked out. Her quick, lucid grab of Kate’s wrist as she went for the pocket knife indicate as much.

What kind of fertility doctor has such quick reflexes and strength? Juliet has clearly had some kind of physical training or expertise. Also, letting us know that she has dislocated her shoulder on 4 occasions is a clue. To what, I have no idea.

Juliet knew that Sayid and Jack were also left behind, and didn’t mention Locke, so she must have been aware that he left with the Others.

Timeline wise, I thought it was very interesting that Juliet said she knew how Jack’s dad died. He was not dead for very long before Jack flew to Sydney to retrieve his body and bring it back on Flight 815. Is the Others’ intel really that up to date? Or was it because the Others and/or Dharma had something to do with his demise?

Like Locke, Juliet predicted the rain. She also anticipated and quickly reacted to Kate’s assault in the rec room. Is she ‘special’ like Walt, or is it just another coincidence?

BLACK SMOKE MONSTER

We’ve never seen the Black Smoke Monster use flash photography before. Perhaps it is the Monster’s way of collecting data about a potential new victim. Or perhaps it was erasing or implanting memories…

The Black Smoke Monster could have gone up and over the security perimeter, but it ran directly into it instead, heading right for Juliet. We’ve seen it up high before (the dead pilot up in the tree, for example). Which means that whatever it is, Juliet and the Others do have control of it, she is only pretending to be frightened by it, and it purposely didn’t go up and over the security system to kill her.

THE OTHERS

If the Others were only throwing tear gas into the locations where Kate, Jack and Sayid were being held, why did all of them don gas masks?

They each had a backpack, which could signify a short trip. Were the Others only temporarily relocating? Did they set off the tear gas so that Sayid, Kate and Jack wouldn’t know/see where they were headed?

Sayid said that the Others left no tracks after they abandoned their village. And Ben’s wheelchair should have left a trail. I think that the Others went underground. I’ve said all along that there are tunnels and a rail system of sorts beneath the island, and that would explain why Sayid couldn’t track which direction the Others headed. Sayid did find that damn cord coming from the water in Season 1, and we now know that there was a sonar system and beacon connected to the communications center in the Flame Hatch. Don’t be surprised when we’re introduced to a subterranean and/or underwater hatch.

Or did the Others relocate outside of the security perimeter, to the main part of the island where the Losties live, because they all need to be healed in some way? They were very quick to trust Locke, and Ben was more than fascinated by his miraculous ability to walk after the plane crash…perhaps they were just following their new leader.

LOCKE

Now this is where I’m confused. Just days ago, Locke killed Mikhail, one of the Others. And now he’s on his high and mighty pedestal, telling Kate that the Others aren’t very forgiving of HER past?? Why is it that Locke is getting a pass? They must truly believe he is ‘good.’

CASSIDY

Sawyer’s ex, Cassidy, told Kate that she’d fallen in love with the wrong man. Looks like Kate did too (did you see the look on her face when Jack asked about Juliet?).

If Cassidy knew she was pregnant, why did she go have drinks with Kate at a bar? Because she wasn’t actually drinking; we only see Kate throwing back a few.

If Cassidy lost her life savings in Sawyer’s con, and she knew Kate was a wanted fugitive, wouldn’t it have made sense to turn her in for the reward money?

KATE

Why is it that Kate recovered fairly quickly from the tear gas, and yet Jack was still knocked out after Kate and Juliet had already been in the jungle overnight?

Kate’s got car issues. She crashed the farmer’s truck and then saved his life. She crashed her ex-boyfriend’s car while trying to escape with him, and he died in the accident. She and the Marshall crashed while swerving to avoid the black horse. And then she was stranded in Iowa after her car broke down.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Um…where the hell is Rousseau?

Ok, so both Nikki and Paulo are indeed dead. Double yawn.

Not that anyone tells anybody about anything they’ve seen on that island, and not that it matters now that he’s dead…but wouldn’t it have been great if Paulo was still around when Juliet came to their beach, and he recognized her from when he was hiding in the bathroom of the Pearl Hatch?

Backgammon Alert! Kate was playing the game by herself in the rec room. Locke taught Walt how to play on the beach in Season 1, and then Walt beat Hurley.

Why is it that the Black Smoke Monster seems to take many forms, and kills many people, and yet it can’t get to people when they are hiding in clusters of very thin tree trunks?

In a Season 2 flashback, we saw Kate’s mom serve Sawyer and his friend at the diner as they were talking about a con job…Cassidy.

Kate’s “Cowboy Up” baseball cap is a total shout-out to Jack. That was the catchphrase of Jack’s beloved Red Sox and there was a Jack-centric episode in Season 1 called ‘All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues.’

Why the hell don’t the Losties move off of the beach (winter is coming, after all, in Lost time) and into the abandoned Other homes? They would be surrounded by a security system, with plenty of food and shelter.

There were references to ‘good’ and ‘bad’ again on last night’s episode: Cassidy told Kate that Sawyer was a bad guy (without actually saying his name; it is Lost after all), and Locke told the Others that Kate was a good person.

CRAZY THEORIES OF THE WEEK
1. We know how obsessed the Others are with children. And conveniently enough, Juliet is a fertility doctor. Way back when, while eating breakfast with Ben on the beach, perhaps Kate had to promise that she’d hook up with either Jack or Sawyer.  To get pregnant and produce a child for the Others. SO…did the Others leave Juliet behind because they knew she’d come in handy for the pregnancies of both Kate and Sun?

2. Locke didn’t really blow up the submarine. He entered the sub completely dry, but emerged drenched, which wouldn’t have happened had it still been docked. He anchored the sub underwater somewhere away from the dock, swam to one of the Others’ boats, brought it to the dock and blew that up instead.

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SO•PRAN•O

1. The uppermost part of voice.
2. The highest singing voice in women and boys.
3. A part for such a voice.
4. A singer with such a voice.
5. One badass mo-fo from Jersey. Who happens to be a father. Who has panic attacks. And sees a therapist.

They’re baaack. HBO will own and rule Sunday nights once again beginning this weekend, as Entourage is also returning, following The Sopranos.

They are two of the best shows on television and you should be watching them.

The end.

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