Best Picture nominee: The Reader. I really need to see that.

Megan Fox & Terrance Howard.

I’m just going to go there…many men feel that Fox is the hottest woman on the planet. I submit for your consideration in that category: Olivia Wilde.

When I look at these two, I think: girl who is marrying Brian Austen Green and dude who won’t be in Iron Man 2.

Best Actor, TV miniseries or film:
Ralph Fiennes
Paul Giamatti
Kiefer Sutherland
Tom Wilkinson
Kevin Spacey

Winner: Paul Giamatti.

It IS going to be a John Adams sweep again. Well done, Tom Hanks and HBO.

Glenn Close & Laurence Fishburne.

Best TV series (musical/comedy):
30 Rock
Californication
Entourage
The Office
Weeds

Winner: 30 Rock. Insert happy face here.

Can we discuss how awkward that scene was with Duchovny?

OMG, Tracy Morgan. Hysterical.

Best Picture (Comedy/Musical) nominee: In Bruges.

Elizabeth Banks & Seth Rogen. Oh boy.

Rogen is skinny. It’s odd. Overweight fanboys everywhere are now online, ordering Wii Fit.

What’s with all of the coke jokes?

Best Screenplay:
Slumdog Millionaire
Frost/Nixon
Benjamin Button
Doubt
The Reader

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire. Nice! LOVED that film. If you haven’t seen it yet, go. Now.

Amy Poehler & McDreamy. Interesting pair.

Best Actor, TV series (musical/comedy):
Alec Baldwin (my pick)
Steve Carrell
Kevin Connolly
David Duchovny
Tony Shaloub (is he wearing a sparkly scarf?)

Winner: Baldwin. When he channeled Tracy Jordan’s dad, I knew he’d win again.

I want to get a smoothie with Tina Fey. That is not a euphemism.

Deal or No Deal? Nope, just Accounting with their cases.

Best Picture nominee: Benjamin Button

Sorry, but I was underwhelmed by this film. Perhaps my expectations were too high. I absolutely love Cate Blanchett, but this wasn’t my favorite of her performances.

Jessica Lange & Drew Barrymore.

Nice Marilyn hair, Drew.

Best Miniseries or TV Movie:
A Raisin in the Sun
Bernard and Doris
Cranford
John Adams
Recount

Winner: John Adams. Of course. I thought Laura Linney was nothing short of spectacular in this.

Demi Moore. Hello gorgeous. Not fair.

Best Supporting Actor: Film
Tom Cruise
Robert Downey Jr.
Ralph Fiennes
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Heath Ledger

Winner: Ledger. Goosebumps. He SO deserved it.

Standing ovation. Scene from Dark Knight.

Chris Nolan – classy acceptance on his behalf.

Does he have a drink in his hand?

Wow, he has free reign. LOL.

Best Picture Nominee (Comedy/Musical): Happy Go Lucky.

Oh Jesus, the Jo Bros (no relation; thank god). Wait, that’s 2 biblical references in one sentence, and both regarding a teen phenom. My drink isn’t strong enough.

Best Animated Feature:
Bolt
Kung Fu Panda
Wall E

Winner: Wall E. Naturally. Loved it!

Johnny Depp alert, ladies.

Best Actress, Motion Picture or Comedy:
Rebecca Hall
Sally Hawkins
Meryl Streep
Emma Thompson (my pick)
Francis McDormand

Winner: Sally Hawkins.

Haven’t seen the film. She seems very sweet, but please eat a sandwich. Or some scones with your tea.

Is she this year’s Marianne Cotillard?

I love the Coen Brothers, but I did not love this film. And let’s get it right – it was Malkovich’s film. He owned it.

Eva Mendes. I just can’t really say on this blog what I’m thinking. Maybe this is why so many think I write like a dude…or am one.

Why single out Spielberg? Just checking. Even he didn’t seem to know.

Hey Pierce Brosnan, please…never, ever sing again. Thank you.

Oh look, Hayden Planetarium and Shouldn’t-Remake-Footloose Efron.

Best Actor: TV Drama
Michael C Hall (my pick)
Jon Hamm
Hugh Laurie
J Rhys Myers
G Bryne

Winner: Gabriel Byrne.

Ok, this is the part of the evening when I shout very loudly at no one in particular….ARE YOU F’ING KIDDING ME? SERIOUSLY? WHO WATCHES THAT SHOW?

How can Byrne have possibly outshined Hamm, Hall or Laurie?

Baffled.

NERD ALERT! I heard ‘new Star Trek’ and got excited. Sad but true.

New Kirk is perty, and Sylar is Spock.

Best Actress: TV Drama
S Field
J Jones
A Paquin
K Sedgwick
M Hargitay

Winner: Paquin!!

STFU. Wow. I like the show and I’m on the fence about her, so….wow. 

Vampire Bill looks better alive.