Live-Blogging the Top Chef Finale

a) I would fall asleep watching it live w/all of the commercials
b) I love Stephanie more than any chef in the show’s history
c) I have time on my hands

As Fergie once said, let’s get started.

Lisa’s new ‘do? An improvement. I think they edited her well as the villain. Not sure she’s that much of a bitch in real life.

Richard? He’s quite the nervous nelly. I do like his hair.

And frankly, what’s not to like about Stephanie? She’s calm under pressure and a great chef. Also, she’s the kind of person I’d want in my inner circle. And not just for the spontaneous gourmet meals.

Why is Richard sniffing his eggs benedict?

Do I remember any meals that Lisa made all season? Nope.

Oh, a desert requirement. I have one of those, almost nightly.

I love when Stephanie says she’s not good at something. It almost always results in her victory.

Stephanie picks Chef Ripert. Nice choice. Good pairing.

Lisa HAS to know that she isn’t going to win this.

How awkward must it be for these three to have famous chefs be their sous chefs for a few hours?

Of course. Lisa is doing an Asian meal. Cook outside of the box much? Then again, I was shocked that Ilan won with his constant Spanish dish selections a few seasons ago.

Molecular gastronomy. Richard is like Steven and Hung from seasons past…except less of an a-hole.

Stephanie is keeping it simple. Good idea.

If I worked under such pressure (not that I cook), I would have thrown that little red clock out a window by now.

Cooking with liquid nitrogen. Tabasco sauce ice cream? Even as a garnish…Richard, you’re killing me. Literally. I’m allergic to peppers.

LOL…Stephanie is surprised that Lisa is getting along with her guest sous chef. Um, no offense Steph…but duh. Lisa clearly gets along with the ladies better than the gentlemen. In the kitchen and outside of it.

Memo to Lisa: you’ve been stressed out during every challenge up until now, and you somehow managed to make it to the Final 3. That you’re finally at ease should be a red flag.

I don’t know how Richard is operating without an actual plan or menu. Dude is going to give himself an ulcer.

Ah, the twist is coming. Remind me never to sign up for a reality show; I’m tightly wound, I like structure and I have thin skin. The end.

No sous chefs on Day 2. Doh!

Lisa’s confidence makes me nervous. For her.

I wonder if Richard’s hair ever wilts or flops in the heat of the kitchen.

I hate to say it, but I’d eat what’s on Lisa’s menu.

Ok, Richard’s looks tasty too.  Except for the bacon ice cream. I love bacon, but as my friend Kiraa can attest…it should NEVER be intertmingled with dessert of any kind. She tried a bacon lollipop. You can only imagine how foul that was.

Steph’s menu – not my personal favorite, but that’s because I don’t eat red snapper or lamb. But bring on the lobster ravioli and ricotta poundcake.

Tom makes Richard so nervous, it’s funny.

Clearly, desserts are not Stephanie’s forte. However, she did win that wedding cake challenge and seems to excel with dishes she’s never made before. Can you tell that I’m trying to will a win for her?

Are Lisa’s arms uncrossed only when she’s cooking?

Oh crap, Stephanie’s cake didn’t turn out well. Stop tricking us, Top Chef editors!

Will she whip up an alternative? Is she allowed to alter the menu at this point?

Seriously, I sound like I want to date her or create an I Heart Stephanie blog. Don’t worry, it’s neither.

What the hell is that green kelp crap that Lisa is plating? Does not look appealing.

I like Richard, and if he wins, that’s cool. But I’d love to see the first female Top Chef.

Wow – the Zagat guy. Didn’t know there was one. I find myself referring to Open Table far more than Zagat, but mostly because I’m lazy and it’s free.

Didn’t Lisa screw up a shrimp starter only recently?

Richard’s scallop looks absolutely delicious.

Phew, they liked Steph’s the best. I think.

All of the second courses look good.

They loved Lisa’s soup. Damn, she stepped it up big time.

They have used the word ‘delicate’ to describe Stephanie’s first two dishes. That has to be a good sign.

Oh come on…let’s hope that her victory or loss does not come down to a garnish (leeks).

Mmm…Wagu beef.  But Lisa is ruining it with a fancy hot sauce.

Ok, I might make an exception and try lamb, because Steph’s preparation of it looks amazing.

Richard’s ‘Be the Bacon’ course.  Isn’t flavored enough. He focuses too much on the Wow factor and forgets the little things. Essential things which can make or break this competition.

Sweet….they love Stephanie’s dish. Simple yet with surprise elements (pistachios, olives) that seem to work.

Oh boy. Lisa’s dessert looks like a hot tranny mess.

Didn’t Richard make that exact thing already this season (banana scallop w/bacon ice cream)?

Ugh. They like Lisa’s final course.

Stephanie was right…her poundcake wasn’t spectacular. But hopefully that won’t be her downfall.

The chefs look exhausted, and rightly so.

Let’s see…will Lisa cross her arms and stand defensively, or did she read the gazillion blogs about her attitude before this finale?

Ok, hands on her hips. It’s an alteration on the above.

Foie gras plus egg plus guinea hen = very rich….Richard. Don’t act so surprised.

Ok, so Lisa can make great soup.

Tom is nitpicking with the freakin’ leeks in Stephanie’s course.

There we go – Lisa’s arms are now crossed. This should be a drinking game.

Yes! Padma is calling Richard out on his use of the same dessert.

Uh oh…last words.

Stephanie, you go girl.

Lisa, you are too confident.

Richard, you’re admitting that you choked? Interesting.

This HAS to be Stephanie’s to lose. Right?

I wonder how long the judges actually spent deliberating at that table.

Stephanie’s lamb experiment might be the one to put her over the top.

OMG. If Lisa wins this damn thing, I will be angry. I won’t boycott the show, but it will annoy me.

Lisa shouldn’t talk to the other two at this point. They might gang up and hurl some objects from the Glad Family of Products at her.

I almost feel bad for Padma…the messenger.

YES!!!! Stephanie won! I know, it seemed obvious for most of the season. But it’s sweet and she deserves it. I would totally visit whatever restaurant she opens.