Before I begin…a polite request.
Just as I choose to click away rather than respond when I strongly disagree with someone’s written opinion, I hope you do the same. If you leave an offensive comment or personal attack, I will not approve or post it. That is my prerogative as the owner of this site. There are plenty of other venues for you to share those sentiments, but not in my house.
And now, back to regularly scheduled programming.
I am:
- A woman
- A daughter
- A sister
- An aunt
- A homeowner
- A taxpayer
- A co-worker
- A college graduate
- A pet owner
- A bad cook
- A blogger
I also happen to be a lesbian in an 11 year relationship, but that fact is certainly not the most important or interesting thing about me. My orientation has nothing to do with the content of my blogs, but today’s historical CA Supreme Court ruling affects me and I am compelled to write about the significance.
My
partner is my family; my life and my wife (in every fathomable way
except for the certificate). We are so normal, we’re almost boring.
There is tremendous mutual love and respect, which I believe are two
of the most essential tenets to a successful and healthy marriage. We are very fortunate that all that we are lacking in life is an official piece of paper.
But let’s start with the obvious question, and one that was asked of me all day long via IM, email, text messages and phone calls. No, we will not be running to City Hall or an altar of any kind. Four years ago, when there was a brief window of opportunity to get hitched in San Francisco, we declined to do so as well. We are thrilled that the ban was lifted today, but our reasons for not getting married remain personal.
For every supportive friend and family member, there are thousands of naysayers out there who would rather see me dead than married. It is archaic and outrageous, but not surprising. I forced myself to stop reading comments on various news sites and blogs because the level of vitriol out there is very alarming and discouraging.
I am not naive; I realize that we live in a relatively safe social bubble here in Northern California. I’m very aware of that fact whenever and wherever I travel, especially to visit family in Georgia, South America and even the central coast of this very state. I also happen to live and work in a fairly red county, but frankly, my sexuality is immaterial no matter where I am.
We are not politically active or out there, and we’re also not interested in public displays of affection. Yet I find myself being cautious and cognizant not to draw unwanted attention just about anywhere outside of the Bay Area; that I have to worry about my personal safety just because of who I am or perceived to be is frustrating yet necessary. At least for now.
Am
I confident that this new ruling will stick? Not entirely. This issue
will once again fall into the hands of voters come November, and the
track record isn’t exactly stellar. That the Terminator is upholding
and respects the court’s decision is a pleasant surprise. And I’ve
always been a fan of Mayor Newsom. This will forever be associated with
his political career, and he continues to be a refreshing, bold
politician without fear of stigma; he is now the face of equality, a forerunner in the ongoing battle for basic human rights.
A surprising number of my regular readers and blog friends are conservative and/or Republican men. I have found that to be because we speak the same pop culture language; we share a love of sci-fi and superheroes, technology, action/adventure movies and sports. And for the most part, our voting proclivities are a non-issue. If anything, I feel that some are less apt to post negative gay statements and use stereotypes because they know and respect me. I frequent blogs with similar content, and have only taken offense to ignorant comments left by strangers on their sites. Again, I try to take the high road by not responding to those inflammatory remarks (especially when they’re not posted on mine).
I hope that at some point in my lifetime, the nation will look back upon the ridiculous defense of marriage with the same shame and outrage that we do now when we think about segregation. In the meantime, I will continue to live my very normal life, but with a spring in my step fueled by new optimism for an improved social climate.
—
I apologize for the rambling nature of this post. Sometimes I need to just write from the heart, and do so without filter or concern for structure.
Thanks for reading. I will return to covering a much more comfortable subject later tonight: Lost.
Have a good evening.
- Jo
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