For once, I don’t have much to theorize about last night’s episode. It made me laugh, which is rare for this show. Sawyer’s multiple pop culture references and nicknames were great.

 

I may have more thoughts about it next week, but for now…

 

REPEAT THEMES

 

1. Transportation on the Island

We can now add a VW Bus to the modes of transportation that have mysteriously appeared or were lured to the island: the Black Rock ship, Desmond’s sailboat, the real Henry Gale’s hot air balloon, Yemi’s small plane, etc.

 

 

2. Daddy Issues

Add Hurley to the growing list: Sawyer, Kate, Jack, Jin, Locke, Walt, etc.

 

3. Psychics

Those who have visited them or have such capabilities: Hurley, Claire, Desmond, Rose, Walt, etc.

 

DANIELLE (a.k.a. ROUSSEAU/CRAZY FRENCH LADY)

 

I have never believed her story, because nothing adds up. For someone who has spent 16 years on an island, you’d think she would have found the Others’ village by now and also know the whereabouts of her daughter Alex. Remember that she ‘captured’ Ben (when he was Henry Gale) in her net before the survivors then took him and held him captive in the hatch. I think she is either in on it with the Others or used to be a part of them.

 

QUESTIONS

 

There was a bus in the jungle…but no roads or tire tracks. The map Sawyer found inside was a blueprint for roads that don’t exist, so how did the bus get there?

 

Here is the same question I have for all of the boats and (alleged) submarine: where do they get fuel for the bus?

 

Hurley’s former boss/new Mr. Clucks employee Randy took off with Hurley’s girlfriend. Was this before or after Randy became Locke’s boss at the box factory? (And yes, it is the same actor who has played both roles)

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Some quick post-Oscar thoughts…

 

Ellen

The Oscars are my Superbowl and Ellen was my MVP. I loved her from start to finish. I didn’t miss the mean-spirited pop culture references that hosts of old used to throw out there. She was true to form and made me laugh. Not her fault that the show ran long. I hope they ask her back next year.  The ratings are up by about a million, which is a tribute to her talent and popularity.

 

One Giant Step Forward…

Last night signified a huge milestone both for the country and the entertainment industry; Ellen was only the second woman to host (after Whoopi) the Academy Awards, and certainly the first openly gay person to do so. I love that the camera focused on proud girlfriend Portia and proud mom Betty a few times; I certainly don’t recall ever seeing Billy Crystal’s wife during his stint as host. And although I’m sure there were folks who were less than thrilled with Ellen hosting and Melissa Etheridge’s smooch and speech combo…I don’t care. It was a momentous occasion for them and for the worldwide audience. I couldn’t stop smiling; it made my day that Melissa kissed and then thanked her wife. The woman won an Oscar, it was her moment, and she did what came naturally, just as all other winners do.  A few months ago, Grey’s Anatomy actor T.R. Knight made a statement when he publicly came out: “I hope the fact that I’m gay isn’t the most interesting part of me.” I believe that Ellen and Melissa would agree with that wholeheartedly.  

 

Just a Thought…

I wonder who would win an arm-wrestling match, Jada Pinkett Smith or Jessica Biel?

 

“Original” Score?

I love the CD and the artist, but does anyone else find it odd that the main theme song from Babel, Gustavo Santaolalla’s song “Iguazu,” is from the Deadwood soundtrack (which was released a year earlier than the Babel soundtrack)? If a song is recycled/repurposed, how does it qualify for Original Score?

 

Favorite Moments

Arkin’s win

Whitaker’s speech

Melissa Etheridge’s win & speech

Pilobolus (the dance troupe who formed the iconic movie images)

Scorsese’s win

The sound effects choir

Jack Black, John C. Reilly & Will Ferrell

 

And now, for more trivial observations…

 

Awkward Moment of the Night

Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst presenting together. The animosity between them was visible…and entertaining. Rewind your TiVO and watch for her shoulder bump, followed by his stink-eye glance askew at her, and then her head turn/stink-eye at him right before they roll the nominees on screen. I know they were there to promote Spiderman 3 (as if that is even necessary), but these ex’s are clearly uncomfortable sharing the same few feet of space.

 

Of course it’s on YouTube: http://youtube.com/watch?v=fBkujAxCMs0

 

In Need Of a Hairbrush

 

Cameron Diaz

Robert Downey, Jr.

Philip Seymour Hoffman

 

Attire Analysis

 

Bed, Bath, and WAY Beyond: Drapes as Dresses

Beyonce

Kirsten Dunst

JLo

 

Blue is the new Black (and I like it)

Emily Blunt

Portia de Rossi

Ellen Degeneres’ navy ensemble with vest

Melissa Etheridge’s tuxedo jacket

Jodie Foster

Maggie Gyllenhaal

 

Bow, Hell No!

Anne Hathaway

Nicole Kidman

 

Favorites

Cate Blanchett

Daniel Craig

Leonardo DiCaprio

Djimon Hounsou

Diane Keaton (no pantsuits or high collars!)

Queen Latifah

Helen Mirren

Kate Winslet

Reese Witherspoon

 

Memo: “Flesh is Not a Flattering Color”

Penelope Cruz

Gwyneth Paltrow

 

UGH

Jessica Biel

Abigail Breslin (regardless of her age, someone should have prevented her from wearing an Easter Basket)

Cameron Diaz

Eva Green

Jennifer Hudson’s sci-fi/tanning foil jacket

Quincy Jones

Anika Noni Rose

Kelly Preston

Naomi Watts

Rachel Weisz

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Patricia Clarkson

James Gandolfini

Anthony Hopkins

Jude Law

Sean Penn

Mark Ruffalo

Kate Winslet

 

How on earth is a film starring this list of seriously talented actors so painful to watch? Based on the cast alone, last year I predicted it to be an Oscar contender come this Sunday.

 

 

Horrible New Orleans accents and poor pacing are only two of the reasons why I actually turned it off less than halfway through. It is VERY rare that I abandon a movie, especially one that features (however briefly) my favorite, Kate Winslet. Sadly, I found myself thinking about how much Sean Penn and his hair resemble Patrick Dempsey most of the time…

 

 

Director Steven Zallian should stick to screenwriting; he won an Academy Award for writing Schindler’s List, and earned two other nominations for Gangs of New York and Awakenings.  He has also scripted The Falcon and the Snowman, Clear and Present Danger,Hannibal and The Interpreter, among others.

 

Of the many Producers on this film, one name stands out: Todd Phillips, who directed Old School and co-wrote Borat. Random.

 

Current Oscar nominee and comeback kid Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children) has a small role in the movie as well. Not much else is at all notable.

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Expectations for this show are too high. We are spoiled. Not every episode is going to be action packed and answer the questions posed from the previous week. The producers of the show actually listened to the fans and busted their ass to give us 16 episodes in a row without reruns. And every single episode is produced at such high quality that it feels like each week we are treated to a one hour movie. So I, for one, am not complaining. I love it and will stick by the show until the very last scene of the series finale.

 

I have a feeling that last night’s episode will divide the devoted into two parties: those who love answers to longstanding questions, and those who are frustrated and/or impatient by new characters and island developments.

 

{Pop Culture Aside: Lost creator JJ Abrams directed tonight’s episode of The Office!}

 

Here are my weekly thoughts and theories:

 

The title of the episode obviously refers to both Jack in Thailand and Jack being held captive by the Others.

 

By repeatedly stating that the kidnapped Tail Section children are “in a better place,” do the Others mean that they rescued the kids from growing up on the beach, and provided them with food, housing, clothing and education?

 

There were other people with flight attendant Cindy and the kids who were observing Jack in his cage. Are they also Tail Section survivors? Are they on the Otherville Jury? Is that why they were observing Jack? Have they been observing the entire time? If so, hopefully they shielded the children’s eyes when Kate and Saywer had their little jungle fling!

 

 

Where has Sheriff Isabel been? Does she sit and watch everything and lord over all Others, or is she connected in any way to the infamous Jacob and his list? If Ben was able to stay Juliet’s execution, is Isabel second in charge?

 

 

Ben told Jack that his bedside manner left something to be desired, which is exactly what Jack’s Dad told him when he was talking to his future wife Sarah after her car accident.

 

Ethan was one hell of a menacing surgeon. Why send your community’s only real doctor to harass plane crash survivors and kidnap a pregnant woman? Ethan must also be the village handyman. We saw him fixing Juliet’s plumbing earlier this season.

 

Achara told Jack that he was a leader, which is ironic because Jack told Locke early on in Season 1 that he wasn’t a leader. She also told Jack he was a great man, which is how Ben (as Henry Gale) described his leader when asked about him while he was being held prisoner in the Hatch.

 

Achara had a gift – a visionary of sorts. Obviously many folks on the island have similar gifts or their lives have been affected by people with the same gift: Claire and her psychic, Desmond’s new psychic abilities, etc.

 

Let’s see…we learn that Achara is a tattoo artist of sorts, and then we see that Juliet gets branded. Perhaps Achara is on the island as the Official Branding Artist of Otherville.

 

The brand that the Others burned into Juliet’s lower back kind of resembles the map that Locke saw on the back of the Hatch blast door – it has eight branches and the long stem could signify the underwater hatch that we have yet to see.

 

 

They never explained the rest of Jack’s tattoo. We really only saw the origins of the bottom half.  There is a number 5, which could represent the 5 seconds he counts before letting the fear go while operating. (In real life, however, it represents Party of Five, as that is Matthew Fox’s real tattoo and he has said as much).

 

 

Yeah, that was very nice of Tom to hold an umbrella over Ben before boarding the boat. I think my theory about him and Ben from last week is going to prove to be correct. Then again, he wasn’t on that boat leaving with Ben at the end…

 

There was a large boat awaiting Jack, Juliet and Ben in the distance (much bigger and longer than the tug boat that Michael and Walt were ‘released’ to go home in). So how is it that the survivors on the beach don’t hear that engine? And where are they getting fuel?

 

 

Did anyone else find it funny or strange that Jack is a spinal surgeon who can’t put together a simple kite?

 

Karl has never heard of The Brady Bunch. Like Ben, he must have grown up on the island.

 

Karl mentioned that he and Alex named a constellation the Teddy Bear. The Tail Section survivor kids had one with them, and we also saw a barefoot Other dragging one behind last season when Eko and Jin were hiding in the bushes.

 

 

Is Alex really Ben’s daughter? Did he kidnap her from Rousseau when she was a baby? Why does she call him Ben and not Dad?

 

If the Others really do have a submarine (which the producers confirmed although I’ll believe it when I see it), why on earth take a patient recovering from spinal surgery on a sailboat and then a motor boat?

 

At the end of the episode, were Jack and Juliet headed ‘home,’ where Ben promised they would both be released to go? Or were they headed back to Otherville, where Ben calls home, the Stepford village we saw earlier in the season?

 

 

Crazy Theory of the Week

Jack is an Other. He was recruited for a job before the crash…but maybe he didn’t know what for (similar to how Mittelos wooed Juliet). Think about it – he is a doctor, Juliet is a doctor, and the Others always seem to be looking for medical staff. Also, regardless of the fact that he was a prisoner, everything he demanded from the Others, he received: he told Ben to stop Juliet’s execution, he told Alex to let him out of his cage, etc.

 

Isabel translates his tattoo as follows: “He walks amongst us but he is not one of us.” Perhaps that refers to Jack when he is among the other crash survivors. [FYI, there are claims that the real interpretation is “Eagles high, cleaving sky.” Which of course alludes to the airplane, the kite, etc.]

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[Last August, I compiled a list of Favorite Television Characters Ever. Since that time I have modified it only slightly, and have decided to elaborate.]

 

Believe it or not, my world does not revolve entirely around a bunch of strangers with daddy and guilt issues who crashed onto a mysterious island. Lost isn’t even the first show I’ve been obsessed with (for years, I lived and breathed all things X-Files). I have a tendency to dive into a fair number of shows and discuss them with such fervor that friends and family tend to look at me askew and wonder privately if I have a life. Thankfully, I am also surrounded by people who speak the same language; who animatedly overanalyze and speculate about water-cooler shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Lost and The Office with me at length.

 

That being said, I’m going to break down exactly what I love about my favorite characters and personalities on television. Because although I do have a life, I also maintain a lifelong fascination and virtual relationship with a select group of primarily fictitious characters.

 

Before any of you fanatics jump all over my back about glaring omissions, keep in mind that I don’t actually have time to watch all popular shows and fan favorites like 24, Battlestar Galactica, CSI or Gilmore Girls.

And yes, I’m aware a large number of my selections are from two camps: JJ Abrams and HBO.
 

So here is my updated list, with photos. Alphabetically, of course…

 

DR. MIRANDA BAILEY (CHANDRA WILSON), GREY’S ANATOMY

What’s not to love? She’s the boss but also the soul of the show.

 

CLAIRE BENNET (HAYDEN PANETTIERE), HEROES

I can’t quite figure out why she’s my favorite Hero, but I look forward to her story each week. Perhaps it’s because we’re watching the demise of her innocence as she is exposed to the darker world of her fellow friends with power.

 

DR. TEMPERANCE “BONES” BRENNAN (EMILY DESCHANEL), BONES

For me, Bones has been the perfect replacement for my beloved Scully; all business but with serious chemistry simmering just beneath the surface between her and her partner (David Boreanz, who is a sexier version of Mulder).

 

SHERIFF SETH BULLOCK (TIMOTHY OLYPHANT), DEADWOOD

He is so visibly conflicted and twitchy. That seething mustache snarl alone makes my day.

 

SYDNEY BRISTOW (JENNIFER GARNER), ALIAS

The ass-kicking + the outfits + the tech talk = Hot. 

 

CAROL BURNETT, THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW

A hero of mine since childhood, I would run to the mirror after each episode to attempt to mimic her facial expressions.

 

ELAINE BENES (JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS), SEINFELD

On top of the infamous dancing and that hair, she was the real star of the show.

 

CALAMITY JANE (ROBIN WEIGERT), DEADWOOD

No one else can slur words with such fortitude. I’m not sure I’ve ever loved a TV drunk so much.

 

ANGELA CHASE (CLAIRE DANES), MY SO-CALLED LIFE

No other show or actress captured and epitomized the awkward teenage years better.

 

CLAIRE FISHER (LAUREN AMBROSE), SIX FEET UNDER

Complicated and moody. The perfect undertaker’s daughter.

 

MARSHALL FLINKMAN (KEVIN WEISMAN), ALIAS

Every show should have a resident geek who comes to the rescue with such heart and loyalty.  

 

TOBIAS FÜNKE (DAVID CROSS), ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

Two words: never nude.

 

HENRY GALE/BEN LINUS (MICHAEL EMERSON), LOST

Creepy, surprising, and spectacularly acted.

 

TOMMY GAVIN (DENIS LEARY), RESCUE ME

What a mess of a man. Leary fits and fills the role like no other.

 

ARI GOLD (JEREMY PIVEN), ENTOURAGE

Perhaps it is because Piven embodies (to those of us outside of the industry) my perception of a real Hollywood agent. Or perhaps it is because no one chews up and spits out the scenery better or with more energy than Piven.

 

JIM HALPERT (JOHN KRASINSKI), THE OFFICE

An obvious choice, but I’m on his bandwagon. I only wish I were as capable of clever office pranks and lingering glances that speak volumes.

 

JOHN LOCKE (TERRY O’QUINN), LOST

An enigma. I love that I have no idea what his real story is, nor the direction he’ll take us next on the show. In my opinion, he is the most important character on the show, and the key to all answers on the island and beyond.

 

DEXTER MORGAN (MICHAEL C. HALL), DEXTER

There are no characters currently on television quite like Dexter, a blood splatter analyst-by-day/vigilante-murderer-by-night. You will find yourself entirely enthralled and entertained by Hall; he is miles away from David on Six Feet Under, which is an impressive feat.    

 

DETECTIVE FRANK PEMBLETON (ANDRE BRAUGHER), HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET

Just a great character played by an amazing actor. Powerful and mesmerizing.

 

ALICE PIESZECKI (LEISHA HAILEY), THE L WORD

She’s a writer, she’s sarcastic, and the only character I have ever liked or related to in any way during all four seasons of this frustrating show.

 

JO POLNIACZEK (NANCY MCKEON), THE FACTS OF LIFE

Besides the fact that her character shares my first name, she was also a tomboy, which made her the very first person on television that I ever related to on any level.

 

FELICITY PORTER (KERI RUSSELL), FELICITY

Oh how I long for the days of dormitory misadventures and melodrama with Felicity and her friends. For the record, I was on Team Noel from day one. Oh, and I liked the short hair.

 

VERN SCHILLINGER (JK SIMMONS), OZ

The most memorably menacing and vile character in recent television history. A complete monster, Simmons just nails it as the walking embodiment of evil.

 

AGENT DANA SCULLY (GILLIAN ANDERSON), THE X-FILES

Easily my favorite of all time. What can I say; I have a thing for scientists.  

 

DR. JACK SHEPHARD (MATTHEW FOX), LOST

He wasn’t on my list until the beginning of Season 3. His intensity is quite palpable and convincing.

 

 

DETECTIVE ANDY SIPOWICZ (DENNIS FRANZ), NYPD BLUE

It’s as if we were watching a vat of water boil over with great fury. Fantastic.

 

CARMELA SOPRANO (EDIE FALCO), THE SOPRANOS

A long-suffering wife no longer, she owns every scene and is phenomenal.

 

AL SWEARENGEN (IAN MCSHANE), DEADWOOD

The eyes, the swagger, the language. One of my favorite shows of all time, and we only got three seasons. Very disappointing.  

 

KEVIN WALKER (MATTHEW RHYS), BROTHERS & SISTERS

The industry can pat itself on the back as much as they want for the inclusion of gay and lesbian characters on popular shows, but never before has a show featured such a positive, everyday gay lead character like Kevin Walker. He is not a stereotype in any way, and it is refreshing to see his relationships explored in the same light as his television siblings’.

 

NORA WALKER (SALLY FIELD), BROTHERS & SISTERS

She is giving an Emmy-worthy performance as the matriarch in this criminally underrated series about family. I love all scenes between her and Calista Flockhart. The most welcome return to television in years.

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